And no we aren't talking about your fiancé don't worry! When we say #theone we are talking about the dress, the jumpsuit or in general your wedding attire.
Lets start with a bit of background - we live in an ever changing world and as such the way we buy everything has changed. Years ago Bride's would go to their local store and pick from the selection of gowns on offer and that would kind of be it. There wouldn't be experience led boutiques, there wouldn't have been the websites or pinterest to browse on and there wouldn't have been an camera phones to look back on photos at.
We also live day to day in a new era or fast fashion and so as such we are used to throw away fashion, trends changing constantly and new items being thrust into our eyes through the likes of social media ads - it's no wonder that Bridal shopping is becoming trickier than before.
I talk a lot to my Brides a lot about imposter syndrome. Brides find their dream dress, fall in love and then go away and obsess over the photos that their mum took on an iPhone, start looking at the model photos which don't look like them - or of course a new collection comes in a few weeks later and you start thinking have I made a mistake.
Even since opening I've seen this cropping up more and more. Ultimately the most important thing is trying to remember how you felt at that moment in your gown. Remembering why you said yes and not being frightened to say yes if you do find it 'just in case' because often you lose that buzzing feeling you get the first time you get the bridal sparkle.
Everyone also deals with their emotions differently. Some people just would never feel overly excited or emotional picking a dress because for them it's not an important part of the big day. For others it's all they've ever dreamed about since they were little and one of the main elements of planning. For some people it's excitement and for others it came be relief, I think sometimes we forget that or are influenced by others experiences. I hear so often 'Oh but you didn't cry when I put that one on' or others might say 'If you didn't get the feeling it's not the one' when the Bride has already expressed they do love it.
We still get excited when our Brides say yes to the dress and there are some key indicators that we often spot and some of them might be below -
- You feel comfortable in the dress
- You don't pick any negatives about the dress or would make significant changes
- You can see yourself getting married in it
- You feel like yourself or perhaps you feel amazing and special like not on a normal outing
- You show confidence - body language is always an indicator
- You think you look amazing in the dress despite it not fitting yet
- You can't stop thinking about the dress
- You keep looking at pictures of the dress and get excited to see it (this is what get's a lot of bride. They know that they don't look like the photos show. But a photo on a phone in a boutique is never going to give you a real impression. Plus they don't always fit well)
- You can't stop smiling
- We try other gowns but you are just excited to put back on THE gown.
Now some of the factors & my advice that might hinder your buying experience that we will always try and reassure the Bride on -
- I'm worried my fiancé won't like it? Most of the time people have a perception of what their fiance might like or what their fiancé has said. But they are talking to you from a scenario and not actually real life. They haven't seen you in this actual dress and let's face it you've probably been showing them photos of pinterest of models that look nothing like you whilst eating dinner or watching TV. I'm pretty sure all fiancés would want their partner to be happy.
- It's not what I thought I would go for? Similar to the above - sometimes we have an idea of what we might go for. But how many of us in reality have tried on wedding attire before. Plus again fabrics etc online can sometimes be edited for marketing purposes and look different in real life. The amount of people who say to me 'oh my goodness these look so much nicer in real life'
- I looked back at photos and it looked different to what I remembered. We've already touched base on this one and this is why some Bridal shops do not allow photos and I completely get it. Whilst we do allow photos even I sometimes take a photo of a Bride for them and the photo does not do the dress justice at all. And when people get home they are confused why it looks different to how they felt or it looked in person. Remember these are photos on phones - most of the time we don't have our hair and make up done like we would on the day, the dresses don't fit yet, some of them might have got a bit skewed by being samples plus this is the whole reason we hire photographers at our weddings to capture the shots - or we would all be that little bit richer :)
- I'm worried there might be another dress for me or something else I see. Of course, whilst we like to romanticize there is one gown in the entire planet for us - the reality is there probably are most options that we might like or suits us. But if most of the above are ticking the boxes then it's sounding like it could be the one - a lot of people actually start to get confused on what it is they want the more they try and usually come back 10 boutiques later and the experience has become no longer enjoyable. It's also worth remembering that whilst fast fashion exists in our every day lives apart from it being hugely wasteful to our lovely planet. When it comes to Bridal it's not as simple as waiting and ordering a gown. 12 months is really the latest you want to be choosing and how much can really change in that space. A lot of the above comes down to researching designers, boutiques, after service etc. If you aren't sure then ask us and we can try and support.
- One of your friends of auntie couldn't make the appointment so they haven't seen it. This can also be quite a common thing and whilst my personal opinion is to save the dress for as many surprised people on the day I do appreciate some people do want to reassurance of others. But then also do be prepared that you've absolutely fallen in love with a dress and someone gives another opinion that you might not be expecting and can be a bit disheartening. Style is so subjective and you'll be surprised how sometimes guests can get being honest and a bit brutal confused. It's not usually that they mean anything malicious but I think a lot of people forget there's a human inside that gown and I often have to remind people to let the Bride give her opinion first before saying something. I always make the suggestion too to come shopping with a smaller bridal party and if you want to show then the collection appointment when your actual dress arrives is a good time to do this.
Hopefully this gives you an idea of what we at Bellamme Bridal think when you've found the one. We pride ourselves on being an intimate experience and we absolutely are not here to just sell a dress and leave you to it. Our existing and past Brides will tell you we are here every step of the way. Having a wobble? Pick up the phone. Need advice on styles? Drop me a DM. Worried about a difficult family member? No problem email me and lets chat through options.
But most of all when that moment comes, Bellamme will have the prosecco ready for a big cheers and enjoy it - because we all know how quickly these times come and go!